she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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