Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize