There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
