I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
