and next time when you feel me up, do it right
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
