was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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