I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
