New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
