this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
