I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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