So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
