It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
