a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The adults are the big ones right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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