they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
