dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I am available for nakedness
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
