Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
