Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
