i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
