real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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