chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
