but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
