3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
