After last night, I could never be a politician.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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