He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
