I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
