I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
