I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
