just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
