I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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