Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
