this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
