well I can't set my house on fire every night
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
