Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
