Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
