You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
