I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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