just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
