so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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