were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
