I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
wow bdsm is so cute
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
