I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize