the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
