and i looked up. we had an audience...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
