ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize