Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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