Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
