i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
