look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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