does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
