The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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