I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I yelled at your uterus for you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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