I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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