Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
