you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize