lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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