She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
ok first of all what the fuck
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
