Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
