well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
