woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
