the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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