She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
